Sometimes I consider relocating to Mars
Jan. 22nd, 2012 05:26 am![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_sun_is_upSo that last episode of MLP was pretty cringe-worthy, huh? Well compounding the cringe factor is the fandom itself, who are naturally lapping this shit up and trotting out every derailing tactic known to man when arguing with the people criticizing the ableism. Especially frustrating are the large number of actual disabled people who see nothing wrong with "Derpy's" portrayal and in fact think it's offensive that people are getting offended! People who say stuff like this:
I swear to god there is nothing that bothers me more then people who have NOTHING to do with the disabled community bitching about people being “ableist”.
Okay, I guess I was wrong, there's nothing problematic with "Derpy's" portrayal, and as an able-bodied person, I shouldn't be getting all offended over something I know nothing about.
But seriously, I don't what I, as an ally, am supposed to do with an argument like that. Only disabled people are allowed to get pissed off at ableist stuff? How the hell is that helpful to your cause? I'm always hearing people from minority groups (including myself!) complaining because the privileged majority can't be bothered to get off their asses and help fix things, but whenever an ally-type-person does get off their butt and try to help out, they inevitably get shouted down by a bunch of members of that minority group telling them to stop sticking their nose in other people's business.
So either I do nothing and feel like an apathetic jackass who's just enabling prejudice to continue unchecked, while hearing my disabled friends rightly bemoan the fact that nobody's supporting their cause, or I speak out against what I genuinely feel is gross ableist garbage and in turn get smacked down by a bunch of disabled people telling me I'm the offensive one for misidentifying what's ableist and what the hell would I know about what constitutes ableism anyway so shut up and sit down.
I mean, I'm an ally: I do only what you tell me to. I am here to serve you. But when you can't make up your damn minds about what it is I'm supposed to be doing, I get a little frustrated. And that applies to minority groups that I'm a member of as well: as a feminist, there's nothing more infuriating than having a bunch of women stand up and go "I don't see any problem at all with this obviously misogynistic thing, so you bitches need to just calm your tits! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go drink some of this delicious Kool-Aid." *glug glug* And for the record, I would much rather have a bunch of dudes getting misguidedly het up over stuff that isn't actually offensive than a bunch of dudes who don't give a shit and won't lift a finger to help.
It's bullshit like this that just makes me want to leave the social justice community altogether because what the hell is the damn point anymore.
Edit: And lol @ people saying "It's just a kids' show, lighten up!" Imma just quote the Nostalgia Chick on this one: "It's just a car seat, who cares if the belt barely works? It's just for my children."
Yeah, unless you're cool with kids drinking water with lead in it, you should not be uttering the phrase "just a kids' show."
I swear to god there is nothing that bothers me more then people who have NOTHING to do with the disabled community bitching about people being “ableist”.
Okay, I guess I was wrong, there's nothing problematic with "Derpy's" portrayal, and as an able-bodied person, I shouldn't be getting all offended over something I know nothing about.
But seriously, I don't what I, as an ally, am supposed to do with an argument like that. Only disabled people are allowed to get pissed off at ableist stuff? How the hell is that helpful to your cause? I'm always hearing people from minority groups (including myself!) complaining because the privileged majority can't be bothered to get off their asses and help fix things, but whenever an ally-type-person does get off their butt and try to help out, they inevitably get shouted down by a bunch of members of that minority group telling them to stop sticking their nose in other people's business.
So either I do nothing and feel like an apathetic jackass who's just enabling prejudice to continue unchecked, while hearing my disabled friends rightly bemoan the fact that nobody's supporting their cause, or I speak out against what I genuinely feel is gross ableist garbage and in turn get smacked down by a bunch of disabled people telling me I'm the offensive one for misidentifying what's ableist and what the hell would I know about what constitutes ableism anyway so shut up and sit down.
I mean, I'm an ally: I do only what you tell me to. I am here to serve you. But when you can't make up your damn minds about what it is I'm supposed to be doing, I get a little frustrated. And that applies to minority groups that I'm a member of as well: as a feminist, there's nothing more infuriating than having a bunch of women stand up and go "I don't see any problem at all with this obviously misogynistic thing, so you bitches need to just calm your tits! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go drink some of this delicious Kool-Aid." *glug glug* And for the record, I would much rather have a bunch of dudes getting misguidedly het up over stuff that isn't actually offensive than a bunch of dudes who don't give a shit and won't lift a finger to help.
It's bullshit like this that just makes me want to leave the social justice community altogether because what the hell is the damn point anymore.
Edit: And lol @ people saying "It's just a kids' show, lighten up!" Imma just quote the Nostalgia Chick on this one: "It's just a car seat, who cares if the belt barely works? It's just for my children."
Yeah, unless you're cool with kids drinking water with lead in it, you should not be uttering the phrase "just a kids' show."
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 01:45 am (UTC)Anyway, after reading this and thinking it over, I agree with pretty much all of what you've said, especially this:
when there are people with disabilities saying that they're tired of non-disabled people commenting on a certain issue, at the very least you should take that as a red flag indicating that there are layers to the issue that your privilege may have blinded you to
Like, I didn't know about the backstory of non-disabled Tumblr people appropriating disability activism, but now I'm realizing that I didn't need to know about that. If some disabled people are saying "Hey, we would appreciate it if you non-disabled people would just shut up about this issue," then I should just take their word for it and assume that they have a good reason for wanting me to knock it off — I don't need to know what that reason is.
Anyway, sorry for being a jerk and thanks for taking the time to clue me in. Bleh, apologies and thank yous are always hard for me to make sound sincere over the internet, but I really do mean this one.
If you feel that you HAVE to say something EVERY time, then you're going about the whole ally thing entirely the wrong way.
Hmm it's not that I have to say something every time, it's that... I feel like by not calling out something that I believe is problematic, I'm aiding and abetting its existence and perpetuation, like I'm turning a blind eye and allowing it to continue. I've learned from this conversation that this probably isn't the best philosophy to have as an ally and that sometimes it is better to sit back and let other people do the critiquing, but that still makes me feel like a sleaze because it's, well, easy. It's easy for me to sit around and say nothing, because I'm not disabled, it's not my problem, no skin off my nose. I'm privileged, so it's easy for me to just walk away. And experience has taught me that when it comes to social justice, the easy choice usually isn't the right one. Now after reading your comments and the comments of the people I linked, I am totally willing to sit down and zip my lips whenever they ask me to, but it's hard for me to justify that action to myself as being morally right.
blah blah my anxieties let me show you them
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 04:43 am (UTC)1. When a public figure or a piece of media says/portrays something -ist, versus
2. When a fellow member of a privileged group whom you are actually interacting with, whether IRL or online, says something -ist.
As an ally, the best thing that you can do is focus your energies on #2. That's always where you can do the greatest good.
That doesn't mean that you never do #1. But you can't do it all the time. We live in a culture saturated with -isms. If you called out every problematic thing you encountered every day you would literally NEVER SLEEP. And you should never let yourself feel that by not calling out something you're automatically aiding and abetting oppression. Guess what? You're NOT calling out every problematic thing that you see right now. I can guarantee that you're not. If you were, like I said, you would never sleep. And yet the world keeps spinning and you keep being, you know, a pretty good person. ;) You don't need to justify not calling out things to yourself because I promise you, you're already not calling out everything. And that's okay.
Honestly I think that the MOST important thing to take away from this is that no group of people - especially no group of marginalized people - are ever going to be a monolith. Guess what, people have different opinions about things! As a feminist and a woman I'm sure you've already experienced firsthand how fractured the feminist community can be, and every other marginalized group is going to be the same way. So as an ally, the most important thing that you can do is make sure that you're never talking OVER a person from a marginalized group, and if that means sometimes stepping back and NOT calling things out, then that's what it means.
Thank you, by the way, for being open to listening to my comments here and for putting up with me in lecture-mode. ^^;;
no subject
Date: 2012-01-23 06:07 pm (UTC)NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lol but seriously, you're totally right that it's unreasonable to expect oneself to call out absolutely everything, but embarrassingly I still have difficulty convincing myself of that. Like, there's a part of me that read that paragraph and went "WELL THEN I SHOULD NEVER SLEEP. EVERRRRRRR." Basically I need to chill.
no group of people - especially no group of marginalized people - are ever going to be a monolith
Ha, that is definitely something I took away from this whole thing, except... it just made me more pissed off. Around the time I was going "Jeez can't these people make up their minds," I was like "Wait a minute, this is exactly like what happens in all the groups I'm actually a member of! I see this shit constantly in the feminist movement and among women in general! Jesus, if we can't even agree on the most basic shit, then how can we expect to accomplish anything? ARRRRGH" So I guess what I'm saying is you're right that no group is a monolith, but sometimes I wish we were. Blargh.
But in ally situations, I'll definitely try to keep the "not talking OVER a person from that group" principle in mind.
And I didn't think you were being lecturey, you were just talking. Or maybe I'm just used to people who talk in long paragraphs.