MSPA Reader: Ship all the things
Mar. 11th, 2013 02:13 pmLet's talk about SHIPPING!
Homestuck, with its bisexual trolls and endless doppelgangers, is basically a multishipper's paradise, to the point where it can get kind of confusing. So after I made a flowchart of canon relationships in Homestuck, I made one for all my ships.
OH GOD THERE'S SO MANY WHAT THE HELL
(Purple means vacillating between red and black.)
And that isn't even all of them. I also ship All The Ladies/All The Ladies, but most of those wouldn't fit on here.
So now that I've organized (?) them, it's time to gush about them all.
( Starting in the upper right )
Homestuck, with its bisexual trolls and endless doppelgangers, is basically a multishipper's paradise, to the point where it can get kind of confusing. So after I made a flowchart of canon relationships in Homestuck, I made one for all my ships.
OH GOD THERE'S SO MANY WHAT THE HELL
(Purple means vacillating between red and black.)
And that isn't even all of them. I also ship All The Ladies/All The Ladies, but most of those wouldn't fit on here.
So now that I've organized (?) them, it's time to gush about them all.
( Starting in the upper right )
Trolls sure are interesting!
Mar. 1st, 2013 12:30 pmSome more Homestuck ponderings, in list form:
1. Why did Kanaya and Equius pick that particular moment to replace Tavros's legs? Why did they wait until after they'd finished the game and were stuck on the meteor thinking they were going to die soon anyway? Not that the robo-legs would have helped him in-game much, since Vriska's rocket-car and his animal-communing powers already took care of his transportation and combat needs respectively. My only theory is that Kanaya was sick of Karkat being sleep-deprived and cranky all the time, and she figured a nice bloody chain-sawing would terrify him into unconsciousness for a while.
2. Why didn't Kanaya kill *SPOILER* when she had the chance? ( 3x combo showdown )
3. How did the carpenter bots know what kind of house to build Karkat? ( Karkat's heritage )
4. Lately I've been spending a lot of time playing through the three Meenah-bound games from Act 6, Intermission 3. Like most people (I assume), I totally tuned out Kankri's endless word-vomit the first time around, but on a replay, it occurred to me that there was some pretty interesting world-building stuff buried under all that pompous bullshit, so I did my best to unearth it. Granted, I don't know how much of this stuff is canon and how much is just Hussie doing his keymash thing. But whatever, imma just roll with it.
( Sexuality, lifespan, and the caste system )
5. Somebody on TV Tropes made an astute observation about why the trolls' storyline abruptly turned into a slasher flick: ( No more slime )
1. Why did Kanaya and Equius pick that particular moment to replace Tavros's legs? Why did they wait until after they'd finished the game and were stuck on the meteor thinking they were going to die soon anyway? Not that the robo-legs would have helped him in-game much, since Vriska's rocket-car and his animal-communing powers already took care of his transportation and combat needs respectively. My only theory is that Kanaya was sick of Karkat being sleep-deprived and cranky all the time, and she figured a nice bloody chain-sawing would terrify him into unconsciousness for a while.
2. Why didn't Kanaya kill *SPOILER* when she had the chance? ( 3x combo showdown )
3. How did the carpenter bots know what kind of house to build Karkat? ( Karkat's heritage )
4. Lately I've been spending a lot of time playing through the three Meenah-bound games from Act 6, Intermission 3. Like most people (I assume), I totally tuned out Kankri's endless word-vomit the first time around, but on a replay, it occurred to me that there was some pretty interesting world-building stuff buried under all that pompous bullshit, so I did my best to unearth it. Granted, I don't know how much of this stuff is canon and how much is just Hussie doing his keymash thing. But whatever, imma just roll with it.
( Sexuality, lifespan, and the caste system )
5. Somebody on TV Tropes made an astute observation about why the trolls' storyline abruptly turned into a slasher flick: ( No more slime )
Homestuck: Piratey Updates
Feb. 26th, 2013 10:36 amI'm all caught up on Homestuck. Now I'm spending my days obsessively refreshing the MSPA homepage in hopes of new updates, and whenever an update materializes, I immediately go off and obsessively search for fanart of it.
I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM, GUYS.
Speaking of updates (or upd8s as Tumblr calls them), have some commentary:
( yo ho yo ho a pir8te ghost troll's life for me )
I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM, GUYS.
Speaking of updates (or upd8s as Tumblr calls them), have some commentary:
( yo ho yo ho a pir8te ghost troll's life for me )
Homestuck: Deleted Scenes
Feb. 19th, 2013 10:20 pmHomestuck-related think piece for the day: At what point did the other trolls find out about Karkat's blood color?
On the meteor, Equius mentions something about Karkat having freakish blood, implying that it's common knowledge by that point, which makes sense because it'd be pretty hard to buy Karkat making it through a 600-hour campaign without sustaining a single flesh wound. Honestly, I'm surprised the trolls didn't find out much sooner — there was that scene early in the campaign where Sollux gets Glubbed to death and Karkat bursts into tears. Tears that are pretty obviously red. However, the only people who could see him at that moment were Jack (who already knew and didn't care), Terezi (his server, who already knew), and Gamzee, who was a) stoned as usual and b) distracted by Eridan pestering him. So it's possible that Gamzee just didn't notice Karkat's red tears. Or maybe it's a plot hole.
I'm also wondering how many of the other trolls already knew about Karkat's blood color before it was officially revealed, besides Terezi. Sollux and Aradia are both psychics, and Aradia's in contact with her numerous doomed robo-selves, some of whom witnessed Karkat get stabbed to death in alternate timelines, so it seems likely that Aradia knew about it well in advance.
Speaking of Sollux's first death, I'm also curious about what exactly caused the Vast Glub. Obviously it was tied in with the Curse Virus and the lusii all dying, but I have to wonder what could have possibly been so powerful that it killed off Feferi's city-sized monstrosity of a lusus.
On the meteor, Equius mentions something about Karkat having freakish blood, implying that it's common knowledge by that point, which makes sense because it'd be pretty hard to buy Karkat making it through a 600-hour campaign without sustaining a single flesh wound. Honestly, I'm surprised the trolls didn't find out much sooner — there was that scene early in the campaign where Sollux gets Glubbed to death and Karkat bursts into tears. Tears that are pretty obviously red. However, the only people who could see him at that moment were Jack (who already knew and didn't care), Terezi (his server, who already knew), and Gamzee, who was a) stoned as usual and b) distracted by Eridan pestering him. So it's possible that Gamzee just didn't notice Karkat's red tears. Or maybe it's a plot hole.
I'm also wondering how many of the other trolls already knew about Karkat's blood color before it was officially revealed, besides Terezi. Sollux and Aradia are both psychics, and Aradia's in contact with her numerous doomed robo-selves, some of whom witnessed Karkat get stabbed to death in alternate timelines, so it seems likely that Aradia knew about it well in advance.
Speaking of Sollux's first death, I'm also curious about what exactly caused the Vast Glub. Obviously it was tied in with the Curse Virus and the lusii all dying, but I have to wonder what could have possibly been so powerful that it killed off Feferi's city-sized monstrosity of a lusus.
Welp, I read all of Act 5 and watched Cascade. And then I read all the Act 6 Intermissions so that I could see what everyone was up to Post-Scratch. I'm feeling kind of dazed after pumping all that information into my brain.
And lol, I just friended a bunch of people on an anime/manga friending meme, and the first thing I post about is Homestuck, wark wark. I plan these things out so well.
I'm really glad I went into Act 5 Part 2 spoiled for all the deaths because Christ, this series is almost as trigger-happy as JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! I counted and from 4900-5800, a nine hundred page span, Hussie killed 17 characters! And two of those were the same person, and two more were alt versions of the same person. Okay, so 6 of those 17 people got revived, but that's still a pretty hefty casualty count. For a while there, the trolls' subplot had turned into an honest-to-god slasher movie!
My brain's a little too fuzzy to write much in the way of commentary (especially since Homestuck is complicated and deceptively lengthy that I don't even know where to start) but I have one observation regarding how Jack Noir was able to enter the trolls' game session: ( spoilers )
And lol, I just friended a bunch of people on an anime/manga friending meme, and the first thing I post about is Homestuck, wark wark. I plan these things out so well.
I'm really glad I went into Act 5 Part 2 spoiled for all the deaths because Christ, this series is almost as trigger-happy as JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! I counted and from 4900-5800, a nine hundred page span, Hussie killed 17 characters! And two of those were the same person, and two more were alt versions of the same person. Okay, so 6 of those 17 people got revived, but that's still a pretty hefty casualty count. For a while there, the trolls' subplot had turned into an honest-to-god slasher movie!
My brain's a little too fuzzy to write much in the way of commentary (especially since Homestuck is complicated and deceptively lengthy that I don't even know where to start) but I have one observation regarding how Jack Noir was able to enter the trolls' game session: ( spoilers )
An Unlikely Duo
Feb. 6th, 2013 09:40 pmI'm well into the Hivebent arc and enjoying it immensely, but I'm particularly amused by this conversation:
CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing
[...]
GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That
I love Kanaya's super serious and precise way of speaking. Also it's weird seeing these two having a relatively pedestrian conversation together, considering the spoilery stuff that happens between them later on. *attempted vagueness*
Edit: Whoops, should have finished reading to the end of the conversation before I posted because:
CA: wwhat did she say
CA: or glub or wwhatevver
GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely
CA: WWWWHAT
GA: And That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You
GA: As Deep In The Flushed Quadrant As One Can Be
Again, knowing what I know about future events, THIS IS TERRIFYING. Kanaya what are you doingggggg
CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing
[...]
GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That
I love Kanaya's super serious and precise way of speaking. Also it's weird seeing these two having a relatively pedestrian conversation together, considering the spoilery stuff that happens between them later on. *attempted vagueness*
Edit: Whoops, should have finished reading to the end of the conversation before I posted because:
CA: wwhat did she say
CA: or glub or wwhatevver
GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely
CA: WWWWHAT
GA: And That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You
GA: As Deep In The Flushed Quadrant As One Can Be
Again, knowing what I know about future events, THIS IS TERRIFYING. Kanaya what are you doingggggg
KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?
DAVE: we have one of those???
Okay clearly I've been jumping around in the Homestuck canon and have completely abandoned any attempts to stay spoiler-free. But I don't care, because this conversation is one of the greatest things ever to exist. I just OHGOD sadfjkfdsj the more I read, the harder I ship these two blockheads, partly because they're gloriously terrible for each other and partly because they're the two members of the cast who are completely incapable of shutting their pieholes, with consistently hilarious results. Add to that Dave's tendency towards Freudian imagery and you end up with:
DAVE: this book is now like
DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock
DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks
KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
DAVE: what are you talking about
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
DAVE: shut up and draw another penis
I mean, whenever two guys are fighting over the same girl, there's always going to be some level of homoeroticism flying around, but there usually isn't, y'know, THIS MUCH. To the point where Kanaya starts having auspistice pangs because she understandably concludes that the boys are rapidly heading towards a disastrous hatefucking session.
Dedication to D/T/K ship = CEMENTED.
DAVE: we have one of those???
Okay clearly I've been jumping around in the Homestuck canon and have completely abandoned any attempts to stay spoiler-free. But I don't care, because this conversation is one of the greatest things ever to exist. I just OHGOD sadfjkfdsj the more I read, the harder I ship these two blockheads, partly because they're gloriously terrible for each other and partly because they're the two members of the cast who are completely incapable of shutting their pieholes, with consistently hilarious results. Add to that Dave's tendency towards Freudian imagery and you end up with:
DAVE: this book is now like
DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock
DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks
KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
DAVE: what are you talking about
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
DAVE: shut up and draw another penis
I mean, whenever two guys are fighting over the same girl, there's always going to be some level of homoeroticism flying around, but there usually isn't, y'know, THIS MUCH. To the point where Kanaya starts having auspistice pangs because she understandably concludes that the boys are rapidly heading towards a disastrous hatefucking session.
Dedication to D/T/K ship = CEMENTED.
Less like a fandom, more like an armada
Jan. 20th, 2013 05:57 pmHomestuck has officially eaten my brain, and unlike with poor neglected JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, this time there's a freaking massive fandom available to fuel my new obsession.
While surfing for fanart andfanfic porn, let's not kid ourselves, it's almost all porn up in my "Fic" bookmarks folder, but anyway I was struck by how ship-happy this fandom is. They seem enthusiastically dedicated to shipping Everyone/Everyone, to the point where I wondered if there are even any shipwars in this fandom. I knew that some ships were controversial (John/Vriska, Kanaya/any male character, the incest ships, etc), but I'd yet to see evidence of any traditional ship-vs-ship death-matches.
TV Tropes confirmed what I suspected: Homestuck fandom is similar to Naruto fandom in that the sheer volume of characters and viable pairings ensure that any given shipwar will have difficulty building up size, influence, and venomosity simply because the majority of the fandom have their balls in completely unrelated courts. When only a fourth or a fifth of the fans give any degree of crap about your shipwar, it's not going to make much of an impact. Compare this to a fandom like Avatar, which was utterly dominated by a single shipwar through the show's entire three-season run; it was rare to find someone who hadn't picked a side, and the two factions had such drastically different interpretations of the main characters' personalities, the core themes of the show, and even basic plot elements that it made it nigh impossible for the two groups to have a civil conversation, even if said conversation was about something totally unrelated to shipping!
However even big sprawling canons still produce a few bitter shipping rivalries, even if they're small and contained, and according to TV Tropes, the one in Homestuck fandom that refuses to die down is Dave/Terezi vs. Karkat/Terezi. Which is completely hilarious to me because one of the first Homestuck fics I ever read was this glorious gem of a chatlog fic in which Terezi, Dave, and Karkat discuss their mutual desire to boink each other and try to decide what type of relationship each side of the triad should be having, and eventually they conclude that a threesome is the best solution. And bing, suddenly I have a new OT3. As a result, I cannot begin to take the D/T vs. K/T debate seriously. It's like debating whether to have a cookie or a glass of milk. Besides, why should Terezi have to choose just one guy? Terezi is awesome! She gets all the guys!All of them!
Besides, I was sold on the spadey potential of Dave/Karkat ever since that priceless chatlog where Karkat chewed out Dave and John for flirting with troll ladies and drew them an adorably terrible dating diagram, and also this happened:
CTG: ok later windbag
?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF
?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.
Heeeeeeeee. :3
While surfing for fanart and
TV Tropes confirmed what I suspected: Homestuck fandom is similar to Naruto fandom in that the sheer volume of characters and viable pairings ensure that any given shipwar will have difficulty building up size, influence, and venomosity simply because the majority of the fandom have their balls in completely unrelated courts. When only a fourth or a fifth of the fans give any degree of crap about your shipwar, it's not going to make much of an impact. Compare this to a fandom like Avatar, which was utterly dominated by a single shipwar through the show's entire three-season run; it was rare to find someone who hadn't picked a side, and the two factions had such drastically different interpretations of the main characters' personalities, the core themes of the show, and even basic plot elements that it made it nigh impossible for the two groups to have a civil conversation, even if said conversation was about something totally unrelated to shipping!
However even big sprawling canons still produce a few bitter shipping rivalries, even if they're small and contained, and according to TV Tropes, the one in Homestuck fandom that refuses to die down is Dave/Terezi vs. Karkat/Terezi. Which is completely hilarious to me because one of the first Homestuck fics I ever read was this glorious gem of a chatlog fic in which Terezi, Dave, and Karkat discuss their mutual desire to boink each other and try to decide what type of relationship each side of the triad should be having, and eventually they conclude that a threesome is the best solution. And bing, suddenly I have a new OT3. As a result, I cannot begin to take the D/T vs. K/T debate seriously. It's like debating whether to have a cookie or a glass of milk. Besides, why should Terezi have to choose just one guy? Terezi is awesome! She gets all the guys!
Besides, I was sold on the spadey potential of Dave/Karkat ever since that priceless chatlog where Karkat chewed out Dave and John for flirting with troll ladies and drew them an adorably terrible dating diagram, and also this happened:
CTG: ok later windbag
?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF
?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.
Heeeeeeeee. :3
Homestuck: 2420-3560
Jan. 17th, 2013 02:39 amLife has been kicking me in the nads quite a bit lately, so I've been remedying that with a big dose of Homestuck. I'm currently in the midst of Act 4, and I have many thoughts on the series so far, most of which are "whaaaaaaat" and "OMG" and "owww my brain" and especially "THIS IS THE AWESOMEST SHIT EVER."
But my main reason for posting: while Homestuck's large cast opens up a wide range of shipping options, I think I may have stumbled across the greatest ship of all:
DAVE/DAVE
Seriously, they are so perfect for each other, I can't even deal. And now they're going to go write ironically terrible webcomics together! <333 I've shipped a lot of selfcest and alter-ego-cest ships in the past, but this might be the first time I've ever shipped one this seriously, as in "omg if they don't smush their stupid identical faces together THIS INSTANT then I will reach through the computer screen and DO IT FOR THEM, DAMMIT." And after only two pages on screen together! WTF.
Some other random early-Act-4 bits I especially liked:
-CG: THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DUMB
CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD.
CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANIMOSITY IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.
Okay I was trying not to immediately like Karkat because I knew the fandom loved him and I was like "whatever fandom, I shall formulate my own opinions independent of your questionable tastes" but
oh screw it, I absolutely love Karkat. He is adorable.
-The bit where Dave talks Jade into robo-slapping herself awake. And then she accidentally admits this to Rose:
GG: but he will find a way to be clever and make me punch myself in the face again :(
TT: Did he tell you what I wrote on the walls?
TT: Wait.
TT: What?
-Terezi telling John to "stop hugging those salamanders and being so stupidly adorable," because that phrase is such a perfect description of John.
-And while I'm loving Homestuck proper, the Midnight Crew Intermission was actually my favorite part of the whole comic so far and I'll need a separate post in which to properly gush over it.
But my main reason for posting: while Homestuck's large cast opens up a wide range of shipping options, I think I may have stumbled across the greatest ship of all:
DAVE/DAVE
Seriously, they are so perfect for each other, I can't even deal. And now they're going to go write ironically terrible webcomics together! <333 I've shipped a lot of selfcest and alter-ego-cest ships in the past, but this might be the first time I've ever shipped one this seriously, as in "omg if they don't smush their stupid identical faces together THIS INSTANT then I will reach through the computer screen and DO IT FOR THEM, DAMMIT." And after only two pages on screen together! WTF.
Some other random early-Act-4 bits I especially liked:
-CG: THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DUMB
CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD.
CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANIMOSITY IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE.
Okay I was trying not to immediately like Karkat because I knew the fandom loved him and I was like "whatever fandom, I shall formulate my own opinions independent of your questionable tastes" but
oh screw it, I absolutely love Karkat. He is adorable.
-The bit where Dave talks Jade into robo-slapping herself awake. And then she accidentally admits this to Rose:
GG: but he will find a way to be clever and make me punch myself in the face again :(
TT: Did he tell you what I wrote on the walls?
TT: Wait.
TT: What?
-Terezi telling John to "stop hugging those salamanders and being so stupidly adorable," because that phrase is such a perfect description of John.
-And while I'm loving Homestuck proper, the Midnight Crew Intermission was actually my favorite part of the whole comic so far and I'll need a separate post in which to properly gush over it.
When fangirls go off the deep end
Jan. 9th, 2013 06:42 pmThe notoriously batshit SPN fandom is smouldering yet again. As usual, it's the Jared/Jensen tinhats — this time, they're upset because Jensen and his wife are expecting a baby. (Jared and his wife also recently had a baby.)
Amidst all the boggling,![[profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ekaterinv raised an interesting question for which I couldn't think of an answer:
Here's one thing that's bugging me: straight men can have masturbation fantasies about two hot women getting it on without believing that said women are actually getting it on. Why is there a a small and very vocal group of straight women who absolutely cannot deal with their masturbation fantasies about two hot men being [just] fantasies?
Indeed, there are several fandoms that contain these RPS "tinhats": people who don't simply ship two male actors — they believe that the two men are actually gay and actually involved in a secret relationship. Not only that, but these fans tend to be incredibly rabid in their beliefs — they're hugely invested in believing that the relationship between these two men is real and not a fantasy.
But the question is: why are these tinhat fans almost always women? Likeekaterinv said, there are plenty of straight men who can enjoy girl-on-girl fantasies without needing them to be real. I'm racking my brains, and I can't think of any instance where a bunch of fanboys were religiously devoted to the idea of two specific actresses being secret lesbian lovers. So why is that?
Amidst all the boggling,
ekaterinv raised an interesting question for which I couldn't think of an answer:Here's one thing that's bugging me: straight men can have masturbation fantasies about two hot women getting it on without believing that said women are actually getting it on. Why is there a a small and very vocal group of straight women who absolutely cannot deal with their masturbation fantasies about two hot men being [just] fantasies?
Indeed, there are several fandoms that contain these RPS "tinhats": people who don't simply ship two male actors — they believe that the two men are actually gay and actually involved in a secret relationship. Not only that, but these fans tend to be incredibly rabid in their beliefs — they're hugely invested in believing that the relationship between these two men is real and not a fantasy.
But the question is: why are these tinhat fans almost always women? Like
ekaterinv said, there are plenty of straight men who can enjoy girl-on-girl fantasies without needing them to be real. I'm racking my brains, and I can't think of any instance where a bunch of fanboys were religiously devoted to the idea of two specific actresses being secret lesbian lovers. So why is that?Suite Precure: Eps 11-12, 19-23
Jan. 7th, 2013 10:46 pmI'm not going to do that "skip to the ending" thing with Heartcatch or Suite because, well, I actually like those shows a lot, and they have way more plot and less filler than previous Precure seasons. So here's some commentary on the Cure Beat arc and other miscellany.
-The Fairy Tones are way less annoying than the average Precure mascot, and I loved that bit where Hummy realizes that she forgot that there's really 8 Fairy Tones instead of 7, and then this happens:
-Also loved Hummy's little Cure Muse puppet theatre, crewed by Fairy Tones.
-Cure Muse has by far the sexiest outfit in all of Precure history, which becomes extra awkward later when we find out that she's, what, 10 years old? Dammit Toei, stop putting the elementary schoolers in catsuits!
-But okay, I'm not watching this show for the cute mascots or the skintight leather — I'm watching it for the "homoerotic cat angst" as Quaedam put it when explaining her gorgeous fanart of said angsty gay cats.
If you watch a lot of Precure, you come to expect that an average season of Precure will contain lots of gay subtext, especially between the Dark Magical Girl(s) and the heroine, provided that a DMG is present in the story. Sure enough, Suite Precure adheres to this rule, except that the DMG and the heroine in question are both mascot characters. By which I mean...
..they're freaking cats. This show is making me ship a couple of cats. OH ANIME.
( Cut for more about GAY KITTIES )
-Seiren: I don't care what happens to me! But if you hurt Hummy, I'll never forgive you!
Yep, still shipping the cats.
-Despite this show having possibly the most hideous henshins in Magical Girl history, I do like some of the other stock footage, like the Belltier attacks and the duo's Super Quartet finisher. And dang, this season's attacks really went overboard with the explosions. I approve!
-Cure Beat can play a guitar riff on her cowlick. Okay, all you other Magical Girls can go home now, because nobody is ever going to top that.
-The Fairy Tones are way less annoying than the average Precure mascot, and I loved that bit where Hummy realizes that she forgot that there's really 8 Fairy Tones instead of 7, and then this happens:
-Also loved Hummy's little Cure Muse puppet theatre, crewed by Fairy Tones.
-Cure Muse has by far the sexiest outfit in all of Precure history, which becomes extra awkward later when we find out that she's, what, 10 years old? Dammit Toei, stop putting the elementary schoolers in catsuits!
-But okay, I'm not watching this show for the cute mascots or the skintight leather — I'm watching it for the "homoerotic cat angst" as Quaedam put it when explaining her gorgeous fanart of said angsty gay cats.
If you watch a lot of Precure, you come to expect that an average season of Precure will contain lots of gay subtext, especially between the Dark Magical Girl(s) and the heroine, provided that a DMG is present in the story. Sure enough, Suite Precure adheres to this rule, except that the DMG and the heroine in question are both mascot characters. By which I mean...
..they're freaking cats. This show is making me ship a couple of cats. OH ANIME.
( Cut for more about GAY KITTIES )
-Seiren: I don't care what happens to me! But if you hurt Hummy, I'll never forgive you!
Yep, still shipping the cats.
-Despite this show having possibly the most hideous henshins in Magical Girl history, I do like some of the other stock footage, like the Belltier attacks and the duo's Super Quartet finisher. And dang, this season's attacks really went overboard with the explosions. I approve!
-Cure Beat can play a guitar riff on her cowlick. Okay, all you other Magical Girls can go home now, because nobody is ever going to top that.
It occurred to me that although I'm a fan of the Precure franchise and have watched assorted episodes from each of its 7 iterations, I've never watched the ending to a Precure anime.
I guess it's because your average Precure season is around 50 episodes long and stuffed full of irrelevant filler, and my attention span just isn't up to the task. So I figured hey, why not skip over all that middle stuff and just watch the endings.
So I did!
Futari wa Pretty Cure: Eps 46-49
Short verdict: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
( Long verdict )
Futari wa Max Heart: Eps 45-47
Short verdict: More appropriately epic, but kind of repetitive.
( Long verdict )
Splash Star: Eps 46-49
I'd heard from the approximately three people who actually watched Splash Star that despite its mediocre rip-offy appearance, it was actually pretty hardcore, particularly in its ending.
Short verdict: Holy shit guys, Splash Star's ending is HARDCORE.
( Long verdict )
Yes Precure Five: Eps 46-49
Short verdict: WUSSY.
( Long verdict )
Yes Precure Five GoGo
Short verdict: Couldn't be arsed to watch it. Has it even been subbed yet?
Fresh Precure: Eps 46-50
Short verdict: BADASSSSSSSSSSS
( Long verdict )
I guess it's because your average Precure season is around 50 episodes long and stuffed full of irrelevant filler, and my attention span just isn't up to the task. So I figured hey, why not skip over all that middle stuff and just watch the endings.
So I did!
Futari wa Pretty Cure: Eps 46-49
Short verdict: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
( Long verdict )
Futari wa Max Heart: Eps 45-47
Short verdict: More appropriately epic, but kind of repetitive.
( Long verdict )
Splash Star: Eps 46-49
I'd heard from the approximately three people who actually watched Splash Star that despite its mediocre rip-offy appearance, it was actually pretty hardcore, particularly in its ending.
Short verdict: Holy shit guys, Splash Star's ending is HARDCORE.
( Long verdict )
Yes Precure Five: Eps 46-49
Short verdict: WUSSY.
( Long verdict )
Yes Precure Five GoGo
Short verdict: Couldn't be arsed to watch it. Has it even been subbed yet?
Fresh Precure: Eps 46-50
Short verdict: BADASSSSSSSSSSS
( Long verdict )
Toei has released some info and pictures for their newest Precure installment: DokiDoki Precure! So now it's time for my yearly tradition of mocking the Precure staff's abject lack of imagination while lobbing popcorn at the screen.
First of all, I had to take a moment to hurl at the title. It's just a pet peeve of mine, but I absolutely loathe it when shows include the word "doki" in their title and/or episode titles because a) it's way overused, to the point that some of these characters should be suffering heart failure from all the doki-doki-ing their shows are doing, and b) shows with "doki" in the title are practically guaranteed to be nauseatingly sugary girls' shows or nauseatingly sugary moe garbage. We're not getting off to a good start here, Toei.
But let's talk about the characters. Just as Smile Precure's cast looked suspiciously similar to the Yes Precure Five cast, with Doki it appears that we're cribbing from Fresh, with a side order of Suite. Our heroine is a blonde who wears pink, and her posse is composed of a) the love child of Cure Pine and Cure Muse wearing Cure Sunshine's outfit, b) the love child of Cure Berry and Cure Beat, and c) the typical long-blue-haired chick descended from Cures White, Aqua, and Beauty. I'm also amused to note that the heroine has pink hair in her civilian form, but blonde hair in her magical form, though I guess both of those colors would look equally unrealistic to a Japanese person. However the biggest thing they copied from Fresh is the playing-card-suit motif (although Fresh probably ripped it from Shugo Chara). The heroine's theme is hearts (natch), and her blue friend's theme is diamonds, just like Cure Berry.
And of course their personality types match their appearances pretty neatly. Our heroine is headstrong and altruistic, although unusually she's actually good at schoolwork instead of being a complete airhead. Judging by her poses, the Pine/Muse lovechild is already looking to be the cutesy moe-appeal one just like Peace and, well, Muse. (And ugh, she's doing that awful pigeon-toed saggy-knee thing, save me!) The blue one is the sum of her predecessors, being the quiet, level-headed, brainy one who stands for intellect and is on the student council, though much to my surprise, she's not a lonely rich girl. And the purple side-ponytail one is, wait for it, "a cool and beautiful super idol and extremely popular fashionista" who "dislikes fighting alongside others, preferring to stand alone." Ding-ding-ding! You have just won the purple lottery! If there was a threeway between Angel Salvia, Mew Zakuro, and Cure Beat, this chick would be the result. Though I like how she has tomboy-short hair in her civilian form; usually the aloof onee-sama type has long hair.
Fortunately, the girls' names are significantly less stupid than last year's. I did have to laugh when I saw that the heroine's name is Cure Heart, because of course it is! Most MG shows can't stop banging on about the power of heart, so may as well just cut to the chase and name your protagonist "Heart." However Cure Diamond and Cure Rosetta are both lovely and reasonably dignified names, and Cure Sword is downright badass. There's never been a Cure named after a weapon before, and apparently her main attack is called "Holy Sword" which sounds awesome. Wait a sec, Cure Sword harbors guilt over a past failure and she's a foreigner on Earth who originally hails from the magic world? Okay we're definitely doing a throwback to Angel Salvia here. (That's not a complaint — I'm actually kind of charmed that Doki is taking notes from a property as old and forgotten as Wedding Peach.)
Bitching aside, I do quite like the character designs for Doki, especially the swirly style of the hairdos and the spiky white accents on the outfits and the asymmetry. The designs may be predictable but at least they're well-executed.
I have to say, I'm surprised that Toei revealed all the character designs right off the bat, seeing as how Heartcatch and Suite tried to keep us in suspense about who'd turn out to be a Cure. I wonder if there'll be any DMGs in this iteration. Probably not, since the playing-card motif only allows for four posse-members.
First of all, I had to take a moment to hurl at the title. It's just a pet peeve of mine, but I absolutely loathe it when shows include the word "doki" in their title and/or episode titles because a) it's way overused, to the point that some of these characters should be suffering heart failure from all the doki-doki-ing their shows are doing, and b) shows with "doki" in the title are practically guaranteed to be nauseatingly sugary girls' shows or nauseatingly sugary moe garbage. We're not getting off to a good start here, Toei.
But let's talk about the characters. Just as Smile Precure's cast looked suspiciously similar to the Yes Precure Five cast, with Doki it appears that we're cribbing from Fresh, with a side order of Suite. Our heroine is a blonde who wears pink, and her posse is composed of a) the love child of Cure Pine and Cure Muse wearing Cure Sunshine's outfit, b) the love child of Cure Berry and Cure Beat, and c) the typical long-blue-haired chick descended from Cures White, Aqua, and Beauty. I'm also amused to note that the heroine has pink hair in her civilian form, but blonde hair in her magical form, though I guess both of those colors would look equally unrealistic to a Japanese person. However the biggest thing they copied from Fresh is the playing-card-suit motif (although Fresh probably ripped it from Shugo Chara). The heroine's theme is hearts (natch), and her blue friend's theme is diamonds, just like Cure Berry.
And of course their personality types match their appearances pretty neatly. Our heroine is headstrong and altruistic, although unusually she's actually good at schoolwork instead of being a complete airhead. Judging by her poses, the Pine/Muse lovechild is already looking to be the cutesy moe-appeal one just like Peace and, well, Muse. (And ugh, she's doing that awful pigeon-toed saggy-knee thing, save me!) The blue one is the sum of her predecessors, being the quiet, level-headed, brainy one who stands for intellect and is on the student council, though much to my surprise, she's not a lonely rich girl. And the purple side-ponytail one is, wait for it, "a cool and beautiful super idol and extremely popular fashionista" who "dislikes fighting alongside others, preferring to stand alone." Ding-ding-ding! You have just won the purple lottery! If there was a threeway between Angel Salvia, Mew Zakuro, and Cure Beat, this chick would be the result. Though I like how she has tomboy-short hair in her civilian form; usually the aloof onee-sama type has long hair.
Fortunately, the girls' names are significantly less stupid than last year's. I did have to laugh when I saw that the heroine's name is Cure Heart, because of course it is! Most MG shows can't stop banging on about the power of heart, so may as well just cut to the chase and name your protagonist "Heart." However Cure Diamond and Cure Rosetta are both lovely and reasonably dignified names, and Cure Sword is downright badass. There's never been a Cure named after a weapon before, and apparently her main attack is called "Holy Sword" which sounds awesome. Wait a sec, Cure Sword harbors guilt over a past failure and she's a foreigner on Earth who originally hails from the magic world? Okay we're definitely doing a throwback to Angel Salvia here. (That's not a complaint — I'm actually kind of charmed that Doki is taking notes from a property as old and forgotten as Wedding Peach.)
Bitching aside, I do quite like the character designs for Doki, especially the swirly style of the hairdos and the spiky white accents on the outfits and the asymmetry. The designs may be predictable but at least they're well-executed.
I have to say, I'm surprised that Toei revealed all the character designs right off the bat, seeing as how Heartcatch and Suite tried to keep us in suspense about who'd turn out to be a Cure. I wonder if there'll be any DMGs in this iteration. Probably not, since the playing-card motif only allows for four posse-members.
morwen_peredhil posted a link, and now I'm bandwagoning:Nice Guys of OK Cupid
aka my new favorite Tumblr.
After reading through the whole thing, I feel like these guys have kind of misunderstood what a dating profile is supposed to accomplish, so let's clear a few things up:
1) Ok Cupid is a dating site. It is not your therapist.
2) Whining about how much of a pathetic loser you are is not a turn-on.
3) Whining about how you know tons of women but none of them has ever wanted to date you is also not a turn-on. In fact it tends to make one suspicious that maybe there's a very good reason none of them wanted to date you.
4) Ranting about how horrible and stupid women are is definitely not a turn-on. You are trying to attract women, not drive them away.
However, I am glad that these Nice Guys are so lacking in self-awareness that they persist in writing such embarrassingly revealing profiles. Makes them easier to avoid.
Hurk. Well I'm sick for the THIRD TIME since I got hired two months ago. Such is the life of a grocery cashier in winter, though I'm starting to wonder if my immune system is completely incompetent or something. At least all I've gotten is colds so far, as opposed to my coworker who came down with shingles.
Between my new job and being sick, I haven't been doing a lot of fannish stuff, hence the lack of posts. Mostly I've just been watching MST3K and Todd in the Shadows and Zero Punctuation, and occasionally bingeing on Minecraft. I've twice downloaded MCEdit and tried to figure out how to use it, but I can't make heads or tails of the damn thing. WorldPainter is a lot more straightforward, although my lack of drawing skills is a bit of a handicap.
I'm meaning to read more JoJo's and Attack on Titan and work some more on the MG Project, but currently lack the mental power to do any of those things, since my brain seems to have been replaced by a big wad of mucus.
Also I see that LJ has mutated into an even more hideous version of its former self. I'd like to thank the design team for reassuring me that moving to DW was the right decision.
Between my new job and being sick, I haven't been doing a lot of fannish stuff, hence the lack of posts. Mostly I've just been watching MST3K and Todd in the Shadows and Zero Punctuation, and occasionally bingeing on Minecraft. I've twice downloaded MCEdit and tried to figure out how to use it, but I can't make heads or tails of the damn thing. WorldPainter is a lot more straightforward, although my lack of drawing skills is a bit of a handicap.
I'm meaning to read more JoJo's and Attack on Titan and work some more on the MG Project, but currently lack the mental power to do any of those things, since my brain seems to have been replaced by a big wad of mucus.
Also I see that LJ has mutated into an even more hideous version of its former self. I'd like to thank the design team for reassuring me that moving to DW was the right decision.
I've also been reading JoJo's Part 3! Since it's the most famous of the arcs, I figured I should check it out. (I've also been reading Part 6, but am currently too overwhelmed by the AWESOME to comment coherently on it.) So, Part 3:
-Aha, now we're getting closer to the JoJo's I know and love with the introduction of the Stands. There's still a fair bit of Calling Your Attacks going on, and the Stands are named for tarot cards instead of rock bands, but otherwise things are feeling a lot more JoJo's-ish than they did in Part 2.
-Already I'm seeing where the hugely popular Jotaro/Kakyoin ship came from. And by "hugely popular," I mean that fucking CLAMP drew an adorably terrible doujin of the pairing back in the day. There's that bit at the end of Kakyoin's introduction arc where Jotaro frees him from Dio's mind-control and Kakyoin's like "Why did you risk your life to save me?" and Jotaro's like "Uhhh... I dunno," ;>.> and then a chapter later Kakyoin offers to join their quest and Jotaro's like "Wtf, why do you want to come along?" and Kakyoin's like "Lol, I dunno" and Jotaro's like "Hmph!" and Kakyoin's like "Well okay, it's because you saved me, duh." And suddenly I'm having Naruto/Sasuke flashbacks to when Sasuke took a bullet for Naruto during the fight with Haku, and Naruto was like "Why did you save me!?" and Sasuke was like "I don't know, my body just moved on its own," and dammit JoJo's, stop reminding me of my gateway slash ship! You are giving me feelings!
-Rero rero rero! I'd seen that meme all over JoJo's fandom, and now I know the context. And I love how the first time Kakyoin does it, it's actually just Rubber Soul badly impersonating Kakyoin, but then after Rubber Soul's been defeated and the guys are back on the train, Kakyoin's like "Hey Jotaro, are you going to eat that cherry? Can I have it?" and then he starts absentmindedly doing the "rero rero rero" thing and Jotaro makes the best series of D: faces ever.
-It amuses me that Jotaro is yet another fighting shonen protagonist who is a total chick magnet but seems to have zero interest in the ladies. Yet another reason to ship him with Kakyoin.
-Polnareff's tube top and pillar hair also continue to amuse me.
-Abdul is pretty awesome. I love the bit where Polnareff's defeated and on fire, and Abdul throws him a dagger and is like "Here you go, put yourself out of your misery." That's hardcore, man. And then Polnareff is like "No it would be an insult to your skill for me to off myself," and Abdul's like "Okay, I'll spare your life so that we can be BFFs." And then there was a bunch of fanfic.
-The Runaway Girl. Christ on a cracker, the Runaway Girl. She's like the definitive guide on How Not To Write A Female Character. Or just How Not To Write A Character In General. Let me count the ways:
a) she has no name.
b) she's completely superfluous to the story.
c) her entire role in the story is to be a damsel-in-distress and to give Jotaro an excuse to show off his "I'm not always a jerk" side.
d) she contributes nothing to the heroes' quest; if anything, she's a detriment to it.
e) her personality is pretty obnoxious and bratty. I think she was intended to come across as cute and tsundere, but that really didn't pan out.
f) despite being about 13-14 years old, she still gets a fanservicey shower scene, during which she gets attacked by a lecherous sentient orangutan, but Jotaro comes to her rescue and she spends the rest of the fight scene cowering in the corner wearing only a towel.
Wow. I'm not even mad, I'm just... impressed. Writing that bad takes some real effort, especially since I know Araki can write decent female characters. Not that Holly is much better, since she's basically a mash-up of four bad tropes: a) the ideal housewife, b) the cutesy childish adult woman, c) the woman whose sole purpose in the story is to provide the male heroes with a motivation (via her illness/coma), and d) the woman whose superpowers make her weak and helpless. So far, Part 3 is shaping up to be the worst arc of JoJo's regarding the ladies.
-Joseph: Jotaro, this'll end up being the third time I've had to make a crash landing. Have you ever heard of anyone crashing 3 different planes?
Jotaro: ....... I'm never flying with you again!
Seriously Joseph, why does anyone even let you anywhere near a plane? Though at least there aren't any octopuses sprouting out of it this time.
-Joseph (to Jotaro and Kakyoin): Why don't you change out of your school uniforms? Isn't it hot traveling in those?
Kakyoin: But we are students. We have to look like students.
LOL.
-Aha, now we're getting closer to the JoJo's I know and love with the introduction of the Stands. There's still a fair bit of Calling Your Attacks going on, and the Stands are named for tarot cards instead of rock bands, but otherwise things are feeling a lot more JoJo's-ish than they did in Part 2.
-Already I'm seeing where the hugely popular Jotaro/Kakyoin ship came from. And by "hugely popular," I mean that fucking CLAMP drew an adorably terrible doujin of the pairing back in the day. There's that bit at the end of Kakyoin's introduction arc where Jotaro frees him from Dio's mind-control and Kakyoin's like "Why did you risk your life to save me?" and Jotaro's like "Uhhh... I dunno," ;>.> and then a chapter later Kakyoin offers to join their quest and Jotaro's like "Wtf, why do you want to come along?" and Kakyoin's like "Lol, I dunno" and Jotaro's like "Hmph!" and Kakyoin's like "Well okay, it's because you saved me, duh." And suddenly I'm having Naruto/Sasuke flashbacks to when Sasuke took a bullet for Naruto during the fight with Haku, and Naruto was like "Why did you save me!?" and Sasuke was like "I don't know, my body just moved on its own," and dammit JoJo's, stop reminding me of my gateway slash ship! You are giving me feelings!
-Rero rero rero! I'd seen that meme all over JoJo's fandom, and now I know the context. And I love how the first time Kakyoin does it, it's actually just Rubber Soul badly impersonating Kakyoin, but then after Rubber Soul's been defeated and the guys are back on the train, Kakyoin's like "Hey Jotaro, are you going to eat that cherry? Can I have it?" and then he starts absentmindedly doing the "rero rero rero" thing and Jotaro makes the best series of D: faces ever.
-It amuses me that Jotaro is yet another fighting shonen protagonist who is a total chick magnet but seems to have zero interest in the ladies. Yet another reason to ship him with Kakyoin.
-Polnareff's tube top and pillar hair also continue to amuse me.
-Abdul is pretty awesome. I love the bit where Polnareff's defeated and on fire, and Abdul throws him a dagger and is like "Here you go, put yourself out of your misery." That's hardcore, man. And then Polnareff is like "No it would be an insult to your skill for me to off myself," and Abdul's like "Okay, I'll spare your life so that we can be BFFs." And then there was a bunch of fanfic.
-The Runaway Girl. Christ on a cracker, the Runaway Girl. She's like the definitive guide on How Not To Write A Female Character. Or just How Not To Write A Character In General. Let me count the ways:
a) she has no name.
b) she's completely superfluous to the story.
c) her entire role in the story is to be a damsel-in-distress and to give Jotaro an excuse to show off his "I'm not always a jerk" side.
d) she contributes nothing to the heroes' quest; if anything, she's a detriment to it.
e) her personality is pretty obnoxious and bratty. I think she was intended to come across as cute and tsundere, but that really didn't pan out.
f) despite being about 13-14 years old, she still gets a fanservicey shower scene, during which she gets attacked by a lecherous sentient orangutan, but Jotaro comes to her rescue and she spends the rest of the fight scene cowering in the corner wearing only a towel.
Wow. I'm not even mad, I'm just... impressed. Writing that bad takes some real effort, especially since I know Araki can write decent female characters. Not that Holly is much better, since she's basically a mash-up of four bad tropes: a) the ideal housewife, b) the cutesy childish adult woman, c) the woman whose sole purpose in the story is to provide the male heroes with a motivation (via her illness/coma), and d) the woman whose superpowers make her weak and helpless. So far, Part 3 is shaping up to be the worst arc of JoJo's regarding the ladies.
-Joseph: Jotaro, this'll end up being the third time I've had to make a crash landing. Have you ever heard of anyone crashing 3 different planes?
Jotaro: ....... I'm never flying with you again!
Seriously Joseph, why does anyone even let you anywhere near a plane? Though at least there aren't any octopuses sprouting out of it this time.
-Joseph (to Jotaro and Kakyoin): Why don't you change out of your school uniforms? Isn't it hot traveling in those?
Kakyoin: But we are students. We have to look like students.
LOL.
