the_sun_is_up: Person with a fan for a head excitedly typing the word "OMG" over and over. (zero p - eeeeeeeeee)
OMG the latest Homestuck updates!!! My eyes are just big hearts right now! :D

BFF-shipping ahoy )
the_sun_is_up: A Stormtrooper making pelvic thrust motions. (star wars - unf unf unf)
DAVE: we have one of those???

Okay clearly I've been jumping around in the Homestuck canon and have completely abandoned any attempts to stay spoiler-free. But I don't care, because this conversation is one of the greatest things ever to exist. I just OHGOD sadfjkfdsj the more I read, the harder I ship these two blockheads, partly because they're gloriously terrible for each other and partly because they're the two members of the cast who are completely incapable of shutting their pieholes, with consistently hilarious results. Add to that Dave's tendency towards Freudian imagery and you end up with:

DAVE: this book is now like
DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock

DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks

DAVE: what are you talking about
DAVE: shut up and draw another penis

I mean, whenever two guys are fighting over the same girl, there's always going to be some level of homoeroticism flying around, but there usually isn't, y'know, THIS MUCH. To the point where Kanaya starts having auspistice pangs because she understandably concludes that the boys are rapidly heading towards a disastrous hatefucking session.

Dedication to D/T/K ship = CEMENTED.
the_sun_is_up: Fugo and Abbacchio standing extremely close together while making model faces at the camera. (giogio - personal space invasion)
I've also been reading JoJo's Part 3! Since it's the most famous of the arcs, I figured I should check it out. (I've also been reading Part 6, but am currently too overwhelmed by the AWESOME to comment coherently on it.) So, Part 3:

-Aha, now we're getting closer to the JoJo's I know and love with the introduction of the Stands. There's still a fair bit of Calling Your Attacks going on, and the Stands are named for tarot cards instead of rock bands, but otherwise things are feeling a lot more JoJo's-ish than they did in Part 2.

-Already I'm seeing where the hugely popular Jotaro/Kakyoin ship came from. And by "hugely popular," I mean that fucking CLAMP drew an adorably terrible doujin of the pairing back in the day. There's that bit at the end of Kakyoin's introduction arc where Jotaro frees him from Dio's mind-control and Kakyoin's like "Why did you risk your life to save me?" and Jotaro's like "Uhhh... I dunno," ;>.> and then a chapter later Kakyoin offers to join their quest and Jotaro's like "Wtf, why do you want to come along?" and Kakyoin's like "Lol, I dunno" and Jotaro's like "Hmph!" and Kakyoin's like "Well okay, it's because you saved me, duh." And suddenly I'm having Naruto/Sasuke flashbacks to when Sasuke took a bullet for Naruto during the fight with Haku, and Naruto was like "Why did you save me!?" and Sasuke was like "I don't know, my body just moved on its own," and dammit JoJo's, stop reminding me of my gateway slash ship! You are giving me feelings!

-Rero rero rero! I'd seen that meme all over JoJo's fandom, and now I know the context. And I love how the first time Kakyoin does it, it's actually just Rubber Soul badly impersonating Kakyoin, but then after Rubber Soul's been defeated and the guys are back on the train, Kakyoin's like "Hey Jotaro, are you going to eat that cherry? Can I have it?" and then he starts absentmindedly doing the "rero rero rero" thing and Jotaro makes the best series of D: faces ever.

-It amuses me that Jotaro is yet another fighting shonen protagonist who is a total chick magnet but seems to have zero interest in the ladies. Yet another reason to ship him with Kakyoin.

-Polnareff's tube top and pillar hair also continue to amuse me.

-Abdul is pretty awesome. I love the bit where Polnareff's defeated and on fire, and Abdul throws him a dagger and is like "Here you go, put yourself out of your misery." That's hardcore, man. And then Polnareff is like "No it would be an insult to your skill for me to off myself," and Abdul's like "Okay, I'll spare your life so that we can be BFFs." And then there was a bunch of fanfic.

-The Runaway Girl. Christ on a cracker, the Runaway Girl. She's like the definitive guide on How Not To Write A Female Character. Or just How Not To Write A Character In General. Let me count the ways:

a) she has no name.
b) she's completely superfluous to the story.
c) her entire role in the story is to be a damsel-in-distress and to give Jotaro an excuse to show off his "I'm not always a jerk" side.
d) she contributes nothing to the heroes' quest; if anything, she's a detriment to it.
e) her personality is pretty obnoxious and bratty. I think she was intended to come across as cute and tsundere, but that really didn't pan out.
f) despite being about 13-14 years old, she still gets a fanservicey shower scene, during which she gets attacked by a lecherous sentient orangutan, but Jotaro comes to her rescue and she spends the rest of the fight scene cowering in the corner wearing only a towel.

Wow. I'm not even mad, I'm just... impressed. Writing that bad takes some real effort, especially since I know Araki can write decent female characters. Not that Holly is much better, since she's basically a mash-up of four bad tropes: a) the ideal housewife, b) the cutesy childish adult woman, c) the woman whose sole purpose in the story is to provide the male heroes with a motivation (via her illness/coma), and d) the woman whose superpowers make her weak and helpless. So far, Part 3 is shaping up to be the worst arc of JoJo's regarding the ladies.

-Joseph: Jotaro, this'll end up being the third time I've had to make a crash landing. Have you ever heard of anyone crashing 3 different planes?
Jotaro: ....... I'm never flying with you again!

Seriously Joseph, why does anyone even let you anywhere near a plane? Though at least there aren't any octopuses sprouting out of it this time.

-Joseph (to Jotaro and Kakyoin): Why don't you change out of your school uniforms? Isn't it hot traveling in those?
Kakyoin: But we are students. We have to look like students.

the_sun_is_up: A Stormtrooper making pelvic thrust motions. (star wars - unf unf unf)
Dear Microsoft Word Spell-Check,

Why are you not familiar with the word "anilingus"? I had to use Google to find out how many n's are in it. And no, I was not trying to spell "amblings." Nor was I trying to spell "nailing," although at least that's in the right ballpark.

And now Safari's spell-check is putting red wavy lines under "amblings," but not "anilingus." You spell-checkers need to make up your minds.

(I'm writing a term paper on Justin Chin, a gay San Francisco poet whose work... leaves little to the imagination. No seriously, he's awesome, but you need a strong stomach to read his stuff.)
the_sun_is_up: Fugo and Abbacchio standing extremely close together while making model faces at the camera. (giogio - personal space invasion)
I know you're probably sick of hearing about that MGS cutscene, but I've watched it several times (FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES, SHUT UP) and I keep finding more details to alternately nosebleed and boggle over. For example, the first time we see Raiden, we're treated to a pan shot that crawls up his body, giving us a nice view of his legs and crotch, and after the fight, we get a similar pan shot of Vamp from the back, in which we get a good look at how tight his pants are and how nonexistent his shirt is. Also, at the end of the fight, when Raiden and Vamp are stuck together with the katana, there's this bit where Vamp actually hugs Raiden closer to him, and we get a close-up shot of the katana's point pushing further out of Vamp's torso, complete with a messy splurt of blood. Um. I'm not familiar with Vamp's powers so maybe he had a practical reason for impaling himself further on Raiden's katana, but uh, the imagery is still pretty suggestive.

... it just occurred to me that this is only one cutscene. Jesus, what must all the other ones be like? If I ever do play this game, will I have any blood left by the end?
the_sun_is_up: Fugo and Abbacchio standing extremely close together while making model faces at the camera. (giogio - personal space invasion)
Well I'm still a little dazed from watching that MGS cutscene. I had visions of mansex dancing in my head all day long which was quite distracting. Relatedly, I'm still puzzling over the fact that the sexually insecure dudebro fanboys are able to play these games without fainting, and my only guess is that they're just completely naive when it comes to the female gaze. Since they've grown up in a culture dominated by the male gaze where the only same-sex fanservice is the girl-on-girl kind, it just doesn't occur to them that someone might sexualize a male character, and so all the manservice and homoeroticism and dudes running around in latex fetishwear just goes right over their heads. Aww, how innocent. *pets*

Actually, "naive" is probably the right word, because Wikipedia informs me that Hideo Kojima and the costume designer (who are both dudes) gave Raiden skintight clothing and bishie good looks specifically because they wanted to bring more women into the fanbase. So yeah, that shit was intentional. Although that still doesn't explain why all the other male characters are running around in similarly fetishy outfits. I'm forced to wonder who the target demographic of this series really is.

And one more thing about that cutscene: Given Vamp's schtick of lecherously drinking people's blood, I am continually hilaritized by the writers' decision to make Raiden's artificial blood white. Of all the possible colors! I mean, when you have a dude gleefully lapping up another dude's white bodily fluids, my brain is going to go to some fucking obvious places. Or maybe that should be "obvious fucking places," ba dum tish.
the_sun_is_up: A Stormtrooper making pelvic thrust motions. (star wars - unf unf unf)
So I was on TV Tropes this evening, and my wiki walk went something like this: Zero Punctuation -> Metal Gear Solid -> MGS HoYay -> I ended up on Youtube watching a cutscene from MGS 4, specifically the fight scene between Raiden and Vamp.

I've never played any of MGS, nor had I seen any of the cutscenes prior to now, and for that matter, I don't play video games period (except Minecraft, bawww). With that context established, I have a few observations:

1. I'll be honest here, I spent most of this cutscene laughing my ass off. I say this as someone who has watched a large amount of extremely weird and/or stupid anime: this is possibly the most ridiculous fight scene I have ever seen. When Raiden started his little breakdancing thing, I completely lost it, and it only got sillier from there. What is up with their shoes? Why does Vamp keep making those flamboyant poses? Why is there so much acrobatic flipping through the air? Why does Raiden feel the need to twirl his katana (I'm assuming it's a katana because they're Just Better) around in the air for about 5 minutes before sheathing it after the fight is over? (Okay I'll admit that Vamp shoving the dagger through his chest to retrieve it was pretty cool. And I like all the sword/knife sound effects and the music.)

Actually, thinking back over other ridiculous fight scenes I've seen in the past, I think this one would be a lot less giggle-inducing if it were done in traditional animation rather than realistic CGI. Which brings me to...

2. This cutscene reminded me of one of the reasons why I've never gotten into gaming: I can't stand the trying-to-be-realistic CGI art style of so many current video games. It just falls straight into the Uncanny Valley for me. I kept being distracted by how Raiden's hair swished in a way that screamed CGI and how Naomi (?) and Otacon's facial expressions looked unsettlingly off. I remember a while back when I got on /u/'s Fang/Vanille bandwagon and googled up some shippy fanvids of them, but found myself completely repulsed and unable to enjoy the LesYay because the characters looked like moving plastic dolls with eerily glossy skin and very limited facial musculature. I guess one gets used to the art style if one plays these sorts of games a lot, but personally it creeps me the hell out.

3. I am amazed, nay, impressed that so many straight men are able to enjoy this game series. I mean, don't gamer fanboys have a reputation for freaking out when presented with anything remotely feminine or homoerotic? By which I mean to say, THIS IS THE GAYEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN, YOU GUYS. I knew MGS had a reputation for large amounts of HoYay, but good lord!

Let's see, we have a pretty white-haired bishonen who appears to be wearing skintight latex and high heels; we have a guy who seems to be the gender-flipped version of a Lesbian Vampire and who also dresses in very tight clothing which reveals most of his hairy chest; we have a fight scene in which the vampy guy ties up the bishonen guy and proceeds to gleefully and sadomasochistically stab him several times with a phallic symbol knife that he keeps in his crotch, and then he licks the bishonen guy's white blood off of the phallic symbol crotch-knife, and then there's the end of the fight which... I don't know if I can properly describe, but I'll try: Vamp jumps behind Raiden and gets him in a chokehold, so Raiden takes his katana and stabs himself through the torso and pushes the blade through so that it also stabs Vamp through the torso. And then they're stuck like that, in the upright spooning position, joined by the katana that's impaling both of them, and they're like struggling around and grappling with each other and grimacing at each other and they're doing this for a good twenty seconds.


Actually forget what I said about the creepy art style and the silly fight choreography — I should definitely play this game. It seems relevant to my interests. It seems relevant to most fangirls' interests.

Also, the main character's default outfit is a skintight latex suit that makes him look like he's wearing a corset. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall in the costume design meetings for these games.

4. What's up with Raiden's jaw?


the_sun_is_up: Panty from PSG wearing glasses. (Default)
Sing me a bawdy song, make me merry

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