You're right, that is definitely not the best philosophy to have. But I think it helps to differentiate between two different types of Problematic Things to Call Out:
1. When a public figure or a piece of media says/portrays something -ist, versus
2. When a fellow member of a privileged group whom you are actually interacting with, whether IRL or online, says something -ist.
As an ally, the best thing that you can do is focus your energies on #2. That's always where you can do the greatest good.
That doesn't mean that you never do #1. But you can't do it all the time. We live in a culture saturated with -isms. If you called out every problematic thing you encountered every day you would literally NEVER SLEEP. And you should never let yourself feel that by not calling out something you're automatically aiding and abetting oppression. Guess what? You're NOT calling out every problematic thing that you see right now. I can guarantee that you're not. If you were, like I said, you would never sleep. And yet the world keeps spinning and you keep being, you know, a pretty good person. ;) You don't need to justify not calling out things to yourself because I promise you, you're already not calling out everything. And that's okay.
Honestly I think that the MOST important thing to take away from this is that no group of people - especially no group of marginalized people - are ever going to be a monolith. Guess what, people have different opinions about things! As a feminist and a woman I'm sure you've already experienced firsthand how fractured the feminist community can be, and every other marginalized group is going to be the same way. So as an ally, the most important thing that you can do is make sure that you're never talking OVER a person from a marginalized group, and if that means sometimes stepping back and NOT calling things out, then that's what it means.
Thank you, by the way, for being open to listening to my comments here and for putting up with me in lecture-mode. ^^;;
no subject
1. When a public figure or a piece of media says/portrays something -ist, versus
2. When a fellow member of a privileged group whom you are actually interacting with, whether IRL or online, says something -ist.
As an ally, the best thing that you can do is focus your energies on #2. That's always where you can do the greatest good.
That doesn't mean that you never do #1. But you can't do it all the time. We live in a culture saturated with -isms. If you called out every problematic thing you encountered every day you would literally NEVER SLEEP. And you should never let yourself feel that by not calling out something you're automatically aiding and abetting oppression. Guess what? You're NOT calling out every problematic thing that you see right now. I can guarantee that you're not. If you were, like I said, you would never sleep. And yet the world keeps spinning and you keep being, you know, a pretty good person. ;) You don't need to justify not calling out things to yourself because I promise you, you're already not calling out everything. And that's okay.
Honestly I think that the MOST important thing to take away from this is that no group of people - especially no group of marginalized people - are ever going to be a monolith. Guess what, people have different opinions about things! As a feminist and a woman I'm sure you've already experienced firsthand how fractured the feminist community can be, and every other marginalized group is going to be the same way. So as an ally, the most important thing that you can do is make sure that you're never talking OVER a person from a marginalized group, and if that means sometimes stepping back and NOT calling things out, then that's what it means.
Thank you, by the way, for being open to listening to my comments here and for putting up with me in lecture-mode. ^^;;