MST3K and other stuff

I have been really bad about posting lately, because I've been spending most of my time:

a) watching MST3K
b) building Charles-Wysocki-inspired houses in Minecraft
c) BEING EMPLOYED OMGGGG praise baby Jesus, no more filling out job applications!
d) getting sick AGAIN after I just spent a month getting over a chest bug, probably due to the aforementioned new job and getting plunged into a delightful cornucopia of new germs

Regarding item A, I've been watching some good ones:

-The Sinister Urge is a fun one because when you get Ed Wood to directly a morality tale about why porn is eeeeevil, you guarantee a bunch of hilariously preachy dialogue and boneheaded plotting. I love how when the detective guy says that making porn is "worse than kidnapping or dope-peddling," Crow just straight-up goes "No it isn't!" Also loved the bit in the opening skit when the boys give Gypsy four sets of pinking shears for her shower and then Frank sends her a fifth set of pinking shears, and Crow suggests that Gypsy return Frank's pair and get something else, and Mike goes "But what if the first four break?"

-Horrors of Spider Island is one of my favorite episodes because it's about 10% giant spiders killing people and 90% busty women finding excuses to run around in their underwear. One of the US releases called the film "It's Hot In Paradise," which is much more accurate. Anyway, I find that wherever there is gratuitous fanservice, there is funny riffing by Mike and the bots.

-Beginning of the End. Three words: "That's a postcard!" Worst special effect ever! And I want to know how they got the grasshoppers to "fall" off the "building" — I suspect somebody was at the top of the postcard with a straw and was blowing air on them to push them back. This is some A+ bad monster movie right here.

-The Giant Gila Monster taught me that despite their name, gila monsters are not scary. In fact they're kind of cute. Also, I heard that's not even a real gila monster in the movie — they used some other kind of lizard. This one has some great riffing and one of the most nauseatingly saccharine in-movie songs I've ever heard in the form of "Laugh, Children, Laugh" or whatever it's called. And I love Joel's lizard-tongue-flicking noise. And that "You don't say!" gag makes me crack up every time.

-Skydivers is probably Coleman Francis's most watchable film and it wound up being one of my favorite MST episodes so far. Dear god, the riffing in this one is hilarious. There's really nothing else to say about it, unless y'all want me to start incessantly quoting all my favorite lines from it.

-Girl in Lover's Lane is a weird case where the riffing is really funny but the movie itself is depressing as all hell. Seriously, who was this movie made for? But that whole "Are you waiting for a bus?" scene with the hooker in the bathtub is like a solid minute-and-a-half of A+ riffing.

Jotaro's Bizarre Adventure: Chapters 114-139

I've also been reading JoJo's Part 3! Since it's the most famous of the arcs, I figured I should check it out. (I've also been reading Part 6, but am currently too overwhelmed by the AWESOME to comment coherently on it.) So, Part 3:

-Aha, now we're getting closer to the JoJo's I know and love with the introduction of the Stands. There's still a fair bit of Calling Your Attacks going on, and the Stands are named for tarot cards instead of rock bands, but otherwise things are feeling a lot more JoJo's-ish than they did in Part 2.

-Already I'm seeing where the hugely popular Jotaro/Kakyoin ship came from. And by "hugely popular," I mean that fucking CLAMP drew an adorably terrible doujin of the pairing back in the day. There's that bit at the end of Kakyoin's introduction arc where Jotaro frees him from Dio's mind-control and Kakyoin's like "Why did you risk your life to save me?" and Jotaro's like "Uhhh... I dunno," ;>.> and then a chapter later Kakyoin offers to join their quest and Jotaro's like "Wtf, why do you want to come along?" and Kakyoin's like "Lol, I dunno" and Jotaro's like "Hmph!" and Kakyoin's like "Well okay, it's because you saved me, duh." And suddenly I'm having Naruto/Sasuke flashbacks to when Sasuke took a bullet for Naruto during the fight with Haku, and Naruto was like "Why did you save me!?" and Sasuke was like "I don't know, my body just moved on its own," and dammit JoJo's, stop reminding me of my gateway slash ship! You are giving me feelings!

-Rero rero rero! I'd seen that meme all over JoJo's fandom, and now I know the context. And I love how the first time Kakyoin does it, it's actually just Rubber Soul badly impersonating Kakyoin, but then after Rubber Soul's been defeated and the guys are back on the train, Kakyoin's like "Hey Jotaro, are you going to eat that cherry? Can I have it?" and then he starts absentmindedly doing the "rero rero rero" thing and Jotaro makes the best series of D: faces ever.

-It amuses me that Jotaro is yet another fighting shonen protagonist who is a total chick magnet but seems to have zero interest in the ladies. Yet another reason to ship him with Kakyoin.

-Polnareff's tube top and pillar hair also continue to amuse me.

-Abdul is pretty awesome. I love the bit where Polnareff's defeated and on fire, and Abdul throws him a dagger and is like "Here you go, put yourself out of your misery." That's hardcore, man. And then Polnareff is like "No it would be an insult to your skill for me to off myself," and Abdul's like "Okay, I'll spare your life so that we can be BFFs." And then there was a bunch of fanfic.

-The Runaway Girl. Christ on a cracker, the Runaway Girl. She's like the definitive guide on How Not To Write A Female Character. Or just How Not To Write A Character In General. Let me count the ways:

a) she has no name.
b) she's completely superfluous to the story.
c) her entire role in the story is to be a damsel-in-distress and to give Jotaro an excuse to show off his "I'm not always a jerk" side.
d) she contributes nothing to the heroes' quest; if anything, she's a detriment to it.
e) her personality is pretty obnoxious and bratty. I think she was intended to come across as cute and tsundere, but that really didn't pan out.
f) despite being about 13-14 years old, she still gets a fanservicey shower scene, during which she gets attacked by a lecherous sentient orangutan, but Jotaro comes to her rescue and she spends the rest of the fight scene cowering in the corner wearing only a towel.

Wow. I'm not even mad, I'm just... impressed. Writing that bad takes some real effort, especially since I know Araki can write decent female characters. Not that Holly is much better, since she's basically a mash-up of four bad tropes: a) the ideal housewife, b) the cutesy childish adult woman, c) the woman whose sole purpose in the story is to provide the male heroes with a motivation (via her illness/coma), and d) the woman whose superpowers make her weak and helpless. So far, Part 3 is shaping up to be the worst arc of JoJo's regarding the ladies.

-Joseph: Jotaro, this'll end up being the third time I've had to make a crash landing. Have you ever heard of anyone crashing 3 different planes?
Jotaro: ....... I'm never flying with you again!

Seriously Joseph, why does anyone even let you anywhere near a plane? Though at least there aren't any octopuses sprouting out of it this time.

-Joseph (to Jotaro and Kakyoin): Why don't you change out of your school uniforms? Isn't it hot traveling in those?
Kakyoin: But we are students. We have to look like students.

LOL.